Saint Pantaleon Foundation
קרן פנטליון קָדוֹשׁ
مؤسسة سانت بانتليون
The Refuge: Finding Healing in a Hurting World
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A new book coming in 2022:
In the Eye of the Wolf
After several years of thinking about the events about which I write and trying to get time to actually to work on it, I decided that this story needed to be told. This is based on a true story and the names and places have been changed for legal reasons, but to also protect the innocent. This story needs to be told not so much for my own recounting of it, but because of the good it might do. The truth not shared is sort of like throwing a party for yourself and inviting no one else. When it’s really the truth, you want everyone to know it and not just so that they have knowledge, but it’s because of what they can do with that knowledge and experience. Instead of having to learn the hard way, someone could possibly learn from another’s experience which may save them a lot of grief in their future.
Having grown up in a trusting environment where I could have faith in others with the freedom to explore my world around me, it was quite difficult to understand how anyone could perpetrate such evil actions upon someone else for such selfish motivations. You may feel the same way as you read of these events, or you may come from a background through which you have a different level of understanding.I invite you to journey with me through this book to see what you might learn, how you might feel, and experience some real-life situations that hopefully you will never have to go through yourself. The tragedies of life are truly greater tragedies if we learn nothing from them and if they don’t make us better in the process. We have to strive to become better, not bitter, and the difference between those two words is the “i” in the middle.
My wonderful family, including my wife, Autumn, has always been supportive of the things that I felt I had to do. This is one of them and I thank God for them. Their love and time provided for this to get written is truly appreciated. I truly believe you will benefit from walking down this path as this story is recounted and not finish with a feeling of despair, but hope.
“You drew near on the day I called on You, And said, “Do not fear!”” -Lamentations 3:57
Chapter One excerpt
The Wolf Appears
“Go your way; behold, I send you out as lambs among wolves.” -Luke 10:3
I was sitting up in my bed and looking ahead. The tall, four posts of the bed taper at the top and appear to point upward as if signaling where to look. There are three windows in the room with one on each side of the bed and one to my right side. It was light outside and I could see out into the surrounding yard. A loud rumbling could be heard and felt while I was secure in my bed. Looking out that window on the right side, a large, dark brown wolf could be seen coming straight at the window. It was so humongous that one eye of this creature filled up the entirety of the 3x6’ window. The ground shook when it walked. A power emanated from it so great that the glass of the window burst in front of its eye and fell to the floor as it put its right eye up against that window. A menacing, threatening stare so full of hatred was aimed and looking directly at me. Still in my bed and unmoved, I turned and looked right back into the wolf’s eye. There was no fear, but only peace.
Then I awakened -- in a sweat-- and had a hard time finally going back to sleep. What was peace and stillness in this obvious dream was not the same in the real world. Fear was palpably felt that was not in the dream. Little did I know that this dream was a harbinger of things to come.
A few weeks later, I dreamed that I was in the trees floating around somewhere up in the tree limbs. I was looking down and could see a group of men searching the wooded area below me. I heard them talking. They were looking for me! I thought, “I am right here. Can no one see me?” I was somehow above them though. “I must be dead.” It was apparent a crime had been committed and I was the victim. Then I awoke.
My name is Nate Eleazar. I am married to Keren and we live in rural, Devland, Mississippi. Life was comfortable and pleasant with me working as a family doctor while Keren helped at the clinic, too. We were going about our lives in the usual fashion with the joys of life, and the stressors that we all face while trying to handle them the best that we could. Our clinic strove to provide the best care that we could for each patient we saw.
Meet Lilith Sidero. She presented to the clinic with complaints of pain in her neck and right arm. Lilith wanted medication for pain since the amount of pain she was having was stated to be severe. Upon evaluating her, I decided that we needed to get some tests ordered for her. Some hydrocodone was prescribed to her to take until the results of an MRI of her cervical spine would be available, and also a Medrol Dose Pack (a tapering dose of steroid to reduce inflammation) was prescribed to her as well. The results of the cervical spine imaging returned showing no problems of a nature or degree that would explain her symptoms. Due to the severity of this symptoms that she complained of which were not explained by the MRI, I then ordered a nerve conduction test to be done which also returned with normal results. Lilith returned to the clinic for discussion of results of the testing.
Chapter Five excerpt
Light Dispels Darkness
“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! “ —Isaiah 5:20
Drystan replied, “Well, I think anybody could use the extra five, but I don’t think it’s going to make a break from one way or the other.”
“All right. You made a statement in response to one of Mr. Bartholomew’s questions that you felt like she was going to be the brunt of something if the adoption didn’t go through?” Morgan asked.
“Correct,” Drystan stated.
“Okay. And that has come about, hasn’t it?” Morgan questioned as he was attempting to portray Lilith as a victim herself.
Drystan all too willingly jumped in given opportunity afforded by his colleague, “And a lot worse than what I had considered. I just thought they were going to you know, say you’re a liar whatever, but, Lord knows.”
Morgan then smugly stated, “Okay, thank you. No further questions, Your Honor.”
Judge Sloane then asked Mr. Bartholomew followed by Morgan if they had anything else with both stating that they had no other questions. Then he told Drystan, “You may step down. We can let him go, huh?”
Morgan replied, “Yes, sir.”
Judge Sloane was very collegial and stated, “He might have something else to do.”
Drystan felt completely at ease, it was obvious, in the manner in which he stated, “Thank you, Your Honor.”
Sloane then thanked his friend, “Thank you, Morte. Anything –”
Morgan could hardly wait for the chance and promptly spoke up, “I’d like to renew our motion, in light of Mr. Drystan’s testimony.”
Judge Sloane then asked them again to be sure, “You have put on all the testimony you want to put on?”
Morgan then added, “Well, I’d like to reserve my right to, if I need to, but I’d like to renew my motion and effort to try to save time.”
Bartholomew sensed the environment and stated, “Your Honor, if I may also, under the statute --- and I have looked at the statute extensively --- there’s no other decisions out there. If there was a payment ever really made, then Dr. Eleazar would actually be guilty of a crime also. So therefore, you have got to take the statute a little liberally in this aspect. Therefore, if there was actually a consummation of --- if you rule against us --- if there was a consummation of the crime, there’s two crimes committed --- one giving and one taking. So I would ask that this be taken liberally in a sense and let a jury and --- a grand jury and then a jury decide the facts.”